How to Tell If Mom or Dad Need Caregiving Help

A 2016 AARP article entitled, “5 Signs Your Loved One May Need Caregiving Support, ” provides some great tips on what to look for when determining if an elderly loved one needs caregiving.

1. Fall hazards. Does your parent have stairs without railings or poor lighting and other clutter that’s caused a fall? You need to evaluate fall hazards in the home. A certified aging in place specialist (CAPS), an aging life care specialist, or a physical or occupational therapist can assist you in evaluating your parent’s needs, abilities and the home environment. They can also make recommendations for home modifications or exercises for balance and strength.

2. Unfinished business. Piles of unopened mail and unpaid bills and financial and legal documents that haven’t been addressed can be a sign that your loved one may be cognitively, physically, or emotionally unable to deal with them. Examine the extent of the problem and whether it’s temporary or ongoing. One solution may be to just help your parent sort and prioritize the mail. You can also offer to help with complicated matters and help him or her open another checking account that can be used for cash and basic needs. This lets the adult child pay bills from the primary account. You should also make certain that your loved one has her advanced directives and other legal documents in place, so you’ll be able to help manage his or her affairs in an emergency.

3. Motor vehicle accidents and tickets. If you see that your parent has had multiple accidents—even fender benders or several warnings or citations, scrapes or dents on the car—you should discuss your parent’s continued driving. You can ride along with your parent and observe. You might suggest that he or she refresh his or her driving skills by taking a driver safety course. However, if it’s time to hang up the keys, offer other viable transportation options, so they don’t feel that they’re giving up their independence.

4. Isolation and disconnection. If your loved one appears to be disconnected from friends, family and the community, their support system may be deteriorating, and their physical and mental health are at risk. See if he or she is lonely and look for potential activities they’d enjoy. Regular phone or video calls can also help them connect, as well as using social media. You should also check for health issues, such as untreated hearing impairment, which can hinder communication.

5. A change in appearance. A weight change, wearing the same clothes every day or dirty clothes, or issues with personal hygiene are signs that something is off. You can suggest a thorough medical and psychological evaluation to see what’s normal for your parent because there may be several causes for these changes, such as depression or anxiety. You may find that changes in vision, sense of smell, or mobility are restricting the ability to care for himself or herself.

Start these discussions with love, concern and a supportive attitude. Emphasize that you’re not trying to take over your parent’s life, but rather to help them be as independent as possible for as long as possible.

Reference: AARP (Dec. 12, 2016) “5 Signs Your Loved One May Need Caregiving Support”